This Time I'll Be Sweeter....


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Daily Tip:
...-=HE SAID=-...
11.30.04 (5:23 am)   [edit]

after my work meeting today i just thought of frank and thought i will send him a sms just to say hope he's doing fine....


 i recieved a sms reply saying::


youre not falling for me are you??? haha... just kidding.


i just replied saying::


no.. not yet. give me more time... haha! you're funny.... i just miss talking to you


 


that guy... seriously... he makes me want him more.....


 


 
 
...-=DEFRAGGING=-...
11.20.04 (5:30 pm)   [edit]

Tis the time of the year when I choose who i wanna keep in my life and who i will have to let go... I usually call this defragging. Its funny because everytime i do this, the people who usually i will have to get rid of comes over my place and asks me to spend some quality time with them... seems like they know what im plannin of doing.... hmmm... but yeah... i have got no plans of changing my mind. i have some friends who arent really my friends anyway.... they are the virus in my ife... people who slows me down... gives me grief and most of all tries to crash me when in the point of my peak!!! when i first started doing this... i felt soiome feeling of guilt, but then again i thought there's no point feeling guilty because they dont feel guilty everytime they try to put me down! its sad how every year i have to get rid if at least one or two of my-so-called-friends..... but at the same time quite a bit rewarding as i will have no grief on the new year to come!


If only some people can be true to themselves and to me... i wouldnt be doing this ever!!!!!


So long suckers!!!!!

 
...-=ITALIAN STALLION=-...
11.18.04 (3:12 am)   [edit]

there's somethin about italians.... i just find them realy fukin HOT!!! this guy Valentino that i met on the net.... i cant wait to see him.... cant wait to go to italy and freakin have him right next to me in my warm and comfy bed.... Italians.... Stallions........


 


FREAKIN HOT!!!! GOTTA LOVE THEM... GOTTA HAVE 'EM....

 
...-=HEART FAILURE=-...
11.16.04 (6:39 pm)   [edit]
i went to the doctors today so i didnt go to work... thinking that it wont take me ages to be staying there. BUT... yeah, I ended up staying there for 2 and half hours just waiting for my test results. Most of you know that I'm having problems with my heart... well mainly with breathing. I get really sharp chest pains whenever I eat or breath or laugh too much and even when picking some stuff (bending forward). But what annoys me most is when I eat! Gosh... I love my food... and yeah although I may be skinny I do eat like crazy! So since it's been happening for 3 days now I thought okay its time to go and give Dr. Lee a visit.

I had an ECG test done and gosh... it still freaks me out! Those sticky tape thingie and cords that they attach to your body is quite a bit scary. Im always paranoid about things that might happen while its attached to my body... like getting electricuted for once! Freaky! But the scariest part is when the nurse comes over and asks you to take off your top and your bra. its still weird... I was complaining about chest pains and she would start looking for lumps on my breasts! Like is she for real??? Okay... it was kinda freaky... but just the feel of her touch (ice cold) scares me the most! Okay... Dr. Lee's nurse is a female... but she's huge and gosh... she looks like a lesbian... okay wouldnt you freak out as well?!!?

Hmmm... wasnt able to finish all of my tests because I was so hungry and told Dr.Lee that I'll just come back next week for my blood test. Okay... it's not because Im scared of needles or anything. Actually Im quite used to it already. I just miss eating properly... so he gave me some pills to take for the next five days and come back if nothing changes! I wont forget what my dad said the other night when I was complaining about it though.... If by 11pm you're still having chest pains.. ring 000!!! Like i will!!! LOL!! I didnt because I dont like the feeling and the attention of getting picked up by an ambulance at home and people (neighbours) staring at you like you fucked up or something! hehehe...

Oh well... I still cant breath properly but Ive eaten lunch already. Still havent burped and the feeling in my chest is soooooo heavy!

I bet you guys... this is just heart burn!!!

I wish I can go back to eating now.....
 
...-=SMELLS LIKE IT=-...
11.16.04 (1:03 am)   [edit]

i can smell Frank. His aftershave! hmmmm.... how weird!!!! i guess i just miss him.....


 


 


Mi manchi tanto Francesco!!!!
 
...-=HEART BURN=-...
11.16.04 (12:59 am)   [edit]

i dont know whats happening to me but..... everytime i breath my chest hurts!!! even when i swallow or laugh! its just so painful!!!! i'm being tortured.... im suffering!!!! i cant even laugh properly!!! awwwwww....... i miss laughing like hard! i miss eating properly!!! anyone there..... please...... tell me how to cure heart burn!!!! teach me how to burp!!!!!
 
...-=CHOOKY-CHUCKY=-...
11.13.04 (9:47 pm)   [edit]
Ive got a friend named Kristell.
She's such a sweetheart! She's all nice and wonderful...Although yeah sometimes her swearing gets into my nerves. I'm not really into swearing. I seldom swear... I do but only if I have to and when Im really really angry.
Back to Kristell...

She's so sweet and so nice...
She had this big crush on our manager so I thought... I'll set her up with someone who's not attached and wont cause her too much problem::: OSCAR! LOL!!!

Yep... I set her up with Oscar. We went out 3 weeks ago and yeah... after a couple of midori with lemonade... they clicked. After 2 hours of non-stop dancing on the dance floor with Oscar's friend (shorty... but cute.... but still a shorty... therefore not my type) they got together.

Yep... they're now officially a couple!
But hey wait....

Kristell being so grateful and so happy that I made "magic" happen
Named one of her chicken chick after me!

She now calls me her chook...
And Kristell's my Chucky mummy!!!

How sweet!!!
Hope their romance lasts forever.......

Im happy when I make someone happy...
Specially when they're close to my heart.....

I love the feeling of L.O.V.E.
 
...-=COMPLICATED=-...
11.13.04 (9:21 pm)   [edit]
Life is but complicated...
Same with love...
But isnt love a part of life?
Cuz if there isnt love there isnt life?
So if both were complicated...?

How can we live life and love without complications?
Therefore leaving each and everyone of us happy and contented?

Who can explain this?
How can you explain this?

Hmmmmmmmmm..........

Complicated!!! Tsk! Tsk! Tsk!
 
...-=MISSING THE FEELING=-...
11.06.04 (5:33 am)   [edit]
this is what happens when i dont blog for ages! i post heaps and heaps of stuff that has been inside me for centuries! Lol...

seriously now though...

i kinda feel lost... its just weird! for the first time... im really single... Im really alone.

i mean not with anybody.....

I remember before, i would be single but ive got "boys on the side".
Guys who keeps me company when I'm not going out with someone.
They're the guys who would take me out to dinner or go with me to the movies.

Now... they cant anymore!
Somehow, when I was still with Frank
I was able to find them girlfriends of their own
Only so they would stop complaining that i dont spend time with them anymore.

And now....
I miss them.

I am alone...
single
Officially!

I miss the feeling of being with someone.
I miss the feeling of being in love.
I miss the feeling of butterflies in your stomach.
I miss the feeling of getting nervous that your heart stops.
I miss the feeling of love.
I miss the feeling...

I miss Frank.
I miss my Love.
I miss his hugs.
And the kisses.
And the cuddles.
And hearing his laughter.
And the smirk on his face.
And the way he crinkles his forehead.
And the way he holds my hand.
The way he holds me.
The way he touches me.
The way he way he looks at me.
The way he talks to me.
The way he makes me smile.
The way he makes me laugh.
The way he touches my heart.
The way he makes me feel.
The way he makes me melt.

I can go on and on...
But I'm not sure
I'm not certain.

Will he be back?
Will he ever?
Will he?

I'm missing the feeling...

Because I'm not feeling it now....
 
...-=WHAT THE?????=-...
11.06.04 (3:33 am)   [edit]
whats wrong with this thing??????
 
...-=NEW BEGINNING=-...
11.06.04 (3:32 am)   [edit]
Im back!!! Miss my blog soooo much! But with a freakin slow PC... I'd rather not blog at all! I know... i know... Its just quite frustrating but yeah... I should put more effort into it! After all... this blog is Kulasa's life! Well... used to be anyway! LOL!

A lot has changed... Many people in my life has come and gone.... Like Frank for instance... He's gone... maybe for good. He's just so up himself... sorry I cant take that... specially from a guy. Iris... my siostra... she has left to go back to Poland. She's not really out of my life as I will be seeing her again soon. I will go to Poland for her wedding next year the travel Europe with her afterwards. Anita & Bernie... they're just to negative for me... I'd rather not have friends if it would only be them! MEANNIE HUH??? Lol!!!

Am I happy though.... yes, I can say that i'm happy. Contented... perhaps, although yeah sometimes I feel somehow empty. I just miss the people close to my heart....

But I'm happy... I can say that I am.... I feel that I am... I know that I am!

This is the "New Beginning...."
 

Today I feel: